How i am trying to pull back from wasting my time on doomscrolling

No timers–no self help books , no articles on phone addiction could help me from the time wasted on scrolling and the overwhelming feeling which drove me was FOMO and the fear of losing one's credibility and acceptance in the society. I had only two social app on my phone– twitter and whattsapp group. And even these two proved to be addictive and counterproductive– first thing i did was to turn off notifications– it did not work– there was something uncanny about your hand reaching to the phone unknowingly– then i started archiving the addictive groups and the first thing i was reaching for was the archived ones- slowly it took time– now i do not - i scan the archive group only on Sundays–and mostly clear chat them. Keep the phone in another room when you are working– did not work– and the best part about it was once you started scrolling– you lost track of time– and before you realise that you have transported yourself to another world– from where it was difficult to pull yourself back and took time to delve back into your work again. At the end of doom scroll– you felt emotionally drained out– and especially if you have left a comment or tweeted- your tendency is to again reach out - to find out a countercomment or the amount of times your tweet has been viewed-this acts like a narcotic, and sometimes i do have - solid withdrawal symptoms–i do not know which part of the brain gets addictive– but social media was addictive. Even these two apps were enough for me to waste my time. Social media was bad– i would not have spoken the same words , or would have been so uncouth if i was talking to the person physically - you know how to hide your emotions when you meet someone personally .on social media - you sometimes become passive aggressive or you are totally aggressive with a person or a group– as you are not in physical touch. Reading a book, while seeing a patient, on the dinner table, in the bathroom– during morning walks– I could not help myself– and you cannot blame the app– I missed the beauty of each activity– because the apps came knocking and interrupted me - every time I was deep diving into my work. Leaving a group especially where you are in touch with your childhood and college friends and also a group which lets you keep in touch with your profession is painful– you lose touch socially and intellectually– so would prune my groups to minimum two. We are hesitant to exit a group –but i realised– nobody will miss you for months , after sometime people will forget that you existed so leave when you want-don't feel you are indispensable - you also won't miss the group online as you go ahead in life and remain engaged in more engaging activities .I picked up three platforms where i could express myself –Medium, Google Blogs, One day Journal apps. Am trying - and they are good platform for catharsis for your feelings. Twitter scrolling still remains a problem– restricted myself to following people– which according to me has common interest. But still one tweet merges into another and once you get sucked into the wormhole–it takes a effort to prise yourself back The worst part is if you have opened your social apps within one hour of waking up in the morning - you have destroyed your peace of mind, your productivity and suddenly the day begins in a very chaotic mode. I tried Pomodoro technique, tied a rubber band to my wrist–all to no avail– it was like alcoholism– starts with a drink or two initially and at the end of the day before you realise the day starts with a drink. Like we do when we wake up - the first thing in the morning– we reach for our smartphones–it is addictive. As with my other vices– which nothing helped to quit but self determination–it would only be my self determination to quit once I decide that enough is enough. And it will be soon.

Morning walkers--it's pleasure watching them

Carpe Diem– only the morning walkers are capable of- Go for a techfree walk, without your headphones, mobile phones– then you will observe the surroundings– the flowers , the plants, the sky, the sights and sounds of your fellow walkers– Every walker which you pass by tells you a story– by their gait, accessories,by their company they keep, by catching a snippet from their talks. You can typecast them and it is a fun - The serious ones–There is a group of walkers who take their morning walk very seriously,-- they have multiple contraceptions around the body, – intermittently checking each gadget for performance, speed, calories, – with earplugs on to shut out external diversions– perfect high end shoes for running, and the apparel– are too good.I like their well chiselled , fat free profile– but am not ready to emulate it– as it comes with a high price tag– for them health becomes an obsession–the idea of being healthy devours them. The childhood friends–Then comes a selection of morning walk who walk in groups– childhood friends, easygoing walk enjoying anecdotes, small talks- and enjoying each other company- it is fun hearing their snippets as you pass by.i realise the small talks, pulling each other legs is what keeps them alive. They bring a smile to your face. The selfie millennials -Then comes the morning walkers who generally visit the park once in a year– generally the youngsters– all bedecked up- for their instagram reels only– because at this age we believe in the immortality of health and life– so exercise becomes the last priority.Most of us do not realise the value of health and time till it is gone. The conjugal ones-Then comes the couples- cordant and discordant depending upon the duration of their marriage. The level of communication is directly proportional to the duration of their marriage-among them it is a pleasure to see a few couples whose infatuation of young age has evolved into old age love and bond has become stronger– i envy them– there is an aura of peace and tranquillity around them. The rogues-Then comes a section of people who after years of borrowed health in form of drinking, unhealthy diet, resultant obesity and comorbidities- suddenly wake up one morning to say enough is enough– its time to reverse the cycle–for some it is not late– but for some– i doubt– but persistence pays. The genial ones–There is a very small minority of walkers especially elderly who wish everyone with a lovely smile and -Jai Shri Ram– i make a point to wish them back– and give a smile– it makes me feel at the top of the world. The giveaway Faces–Their faces sometimes reveal their escapades the night before– puffy and red eyes and a bloated face indicates–a good drinking bout the night before and the morning walk is just a penance for his last night sins. A satisfied face with a satiated smile and all wet cat’s whiskers means he had an enjoyable union. The clubs–I like the motley group of people who form yoga clubs– sometimes i join them for exercise– i cannot meditate- my mind is too frisky for that- suryanamaskar and pranayam is enough for me to get going for the day. Then there is another group – laughter club– it is infectious- as you walk by them you automatically break into a smile and a grin. I like the musical group the most– the group sings their heart out on karaoke -oblivious of the world, and a second group who does aerobic on modern hindi songs– i join them– and it tells how unfit i am as far body mobility is concerned. The outdoors ones–And i salute the parents who have succeeded in unhooking their kids from the screen as they are enjoying the fun of badminton, frisby, cricket. The accessories–I really like the head accessories- caps at different angles, colorful bandanas with hair peaking out , ponytailed millennials. And so are the wrist accessories– the heavy stylish watches of yesteryears have given way to fitness bands- some still listen to music on their phones– some through their earbuds and the oldies are stil stuck to wired headphones. All in all a techfree morning walk - is a pleasure for the eyes and the mind.

Never let your quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough

I was in a cushy government job– as far as pay was concerned i was in the top bracket– but the promotion and challenges in life got stagnant- wanted to ride the hamster wheel again– despite being in a comfort zone– but i did not want to get into the rat race again-because whether you win or lose does not matter-you will remain a rat at the end - so in my comfort zone where i did not have to worry about the basic amenities in life -time was mine– i had the choice how to spend it – because that is one thing which we think is unlimited–but it is limited. In the capitalistic world we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary. Winners are those who achieve the extraordinary, losers are those who do not. The two mindset shifts to escape the trap: It’s not about achieving the extraordinary, it's about finding purpose, joy, and fulfilment in the ordinary along the way. The prize is not the achievement you strive for, but the striving itself. To reach the comfortable zone- I had to quash my dreams– when kids were playing outside during the evening– i was cramming books. I studied , i plodded –medicine was a tasking profession– 4 and half years for MBBS, one year of internship- study hard again to get a PG seat – 3 years of PG– again study hard to get a superspeciality–superspeciality for 2 years– then establish a practice and it take years to get into a comfort zone– by the time you have enough money– you have a greying hair, you lose your zeal of life– having lost interest in all leisurely activities . But there is another side to it– once you are in the comfort zone–pick up where you left your life- try to bring back the hobbies the activities that you enjoyed– i picked up the story books which i wanted to read always and read them at leisurely pace ruminating every word– suddenly a new world opened up– there was a world beyond medicine-it was more colourful, lively – could enjoy all because i was in a comfort zone. Because shifting the goalpost again– will take you back to the same rut. Suddenly i found there is healthy food – beyond fast food – years of odd hours during education days we ate food whatever was near reach– irrespective of the quality and quantity-but once i was in a the comfort zone– off the hamster wheel– i could choose– my diet and food– and the best food which suited me was fruits, nuts and lean meat–i could control my weight, feel energetic, go for your daily workouts– because food and health is something which you -invest - and don’t borrow- i could do all this because i was in a comfort zone. So did i have to come out again to the hamster wheel– i introspected– i did not feel the need– for money – what does money change in my life? The Trap of the Extraordinary is that This is about dislocating your happiness from any "ends" you're trying to reach. It's about avoiding the "when, then" psychology that says "when I get [X], then I'll be happy." So 1) if you can pay your bills and your rent without stress : It used to take half an hour for finding the right prepaid plan for my mobile– now it is postpaid- just pay the bill at the month end. Same with the rent– in the comfort zone– the office looks after your rent and bills. So what do i need more 2)if you can eat at any restaurant without looking or worrying about the price Used to go to a hotel–used to read the menu from right to left– once in a comfort zone– it is the quality of the food that decides– in fact now i do not even try to open a menu when i go for fine dining-just ask the waiter- the best dish in his menu- and order – but now a single dish is a overkill 3)if you can travel wherever you want without worrying about the price Yes- it was always scrounging the travel apps - for the best deals– but now - generally going to the place of desire-staying in a decent hotel– which has a lavish buffet breakfast spread is not much of a problem. Beyond this, life doesn’t change with more money. I refused to go back to the hamster wheel again. Do you really have to come out of comfort zone to an uncomfortable one– and again struggle to get to the comfort zone again. Four things on which you lived on borrowed time– health, food, money, relationships– now invest in them from your comfort zone. Borrowing leads to credit which you have to pay back with interest while investments compounds your effort. Make the ordinary come alive and the extraordinary will take care of itself. Remember: Never let your quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough.