Wednesday, October 18, 2023
3 lives and their rescue
The dog- who never failed me-
For the last three years he had been faithfully coming to escort me from the car park –even during the COVID days– to my OPD– and always reappearing to say goodbye-he never asked for anything- his friendship was total - his wagging tail only revealed his emotions.
Be it summer, winter and rain- he never made an excuse –he was there– we talked through our eyes– said goodbye once he left me in my department.
One day I found him missing from the car park – I knew something was amiss- OPD was full of patients– soon I was listening to their rumblings–and I heard a low painful howl just outside my consulting room window.
I was aghast.My fears had come true. I found him lying in a pool of blood – unable to move– there is something very pathetic about a hurt animal – they are like a paediatric patient– they cannot complain clearly– tell us where it hurts– it is depressing.
Placed some food and water– he was hungry and thirsty– some car at the car park had reversed his car by accident on his rear leg– he had bled–badly– called up an vet NGO– good people are still there in the world–they responded– within half an hour he was picked up – and taken to their hospital– he survived.
I am waiting for him to rejoin– he is still recuperating.
2. Squirrel–
Their mother had abandoned them-must be a surrogate mother otherwise you cannot commit such blasphemy – they could not open their eyes–they were so vulnerable.
They squeaked when hungry- you could not be cold hearted like their mother- picked them up– caressed them– built a soft cotton bed – they both snuggled– finding comfort in the warmth of each other's body– like a kangaroo hug.
Took a small syringe and fed them milk– they tried to open their eyes in
gratification– could not.
One of them survived – the other could not – grew up and then i released him to the wild. He joined his gang – he was born to be free– and that is where I left him.
Nest and the bird
During my early morning walk-two small birds – came together – did not take a home loan– decided to build their own nest– bit by bit they struggled-they picked up small pieces of earth– glued them together– before they could turn their house into a home- one morning the sweeper– just swatted the nest out– i was aghast.
The birds had lost their home but had left their hearts behind– suddenly after a week –I saw them busy flying back and forth . piece by piece – they built it back– it took days – but persistence pays– always be afraid of a person who shows up every day regularly. I had strictly warned the sweeper.
They were now ready with a cosy home– to welcome their eggs and their little ones.
I felt good
Saturday, October 7, 2023
The new kid in town–Plant Based Meat
Saturday, September 16, 2023
My relation with money
It was always torrid-
It took time to realise its importance - to enjoy life you need money, otherwise you could harp on hollow talks about detachment– to let go of materialistic things in life– and embrace spiritualism– you talk about such things only when you do not have enough money in your account.
Initially first i used to spend money– and then whatever at month end ( nothing was left) i tried to save– i used to look at amusement at my friends who started saving –from their first pay and very soon they had bought immovable properties– things which bought happiness in later life and not – one night fun.
My thoughts were that these talks of saving money were frivolous –there is only one life– enjoy it– we can save later when responsibilities come in– but I was wrong . Everything revolves around money. You can only enjoy your hobbies, your free time - once you stop worrying about your nest.
So it was eating, drinking myself silly, splurging on fine dining and fine accessories– at the end of day I was left feeling hollow and unsatisfied–whenever I needed emergency money I always ran short of funds.
Start planning early. I did not– by the time I realised the importance of saving money- responsibilities had piled up – for buying a home , car, child education– needed a loan– if I had prudently saved from my initial days of earning -this would not have been the case.
During our formative years– it was all debt instruments for us–post office, PPF and bank FD – safe and returns were decent-equity, mutual funds were blasphemy– not to be touched with barge pole as advised by our parents as it was akin to gambling-
With no Demat account – everything was physical. If you wanted to invest in the stock market it was a long drawn affair –you had to fill up the form physically– post it and wait. Then the financial tech revolution started– and the financial world changed for better
Then the lure of stock market came and initially i burnt my fingers– one tip from the TV , one from the neighbour, one at the evening party and i used to run and buy the stock without any research– initially lot of heartburn followed - lot of losses –and then i started learning from mistakes– there is no overnight potion to make you rich , patience, research, time and prudence, persistence– diversification, there is no shortcut.
Try investing a part of your salary – maybe a small part– start in index mutual funds as SIP , don't try to time the market– have an emergency liquid fund for 06 months– and as your income starts to increase – increase your risk and diversification. Keep a long term perspective–3 years. Ans as you mature - keep cash flow assets– real estate, and pick up advanced investing methods– like hedging. etc
Treat your credit card like a debit card—assume the money is leaving your
bank account when you swipe it. Pay it off entirely every month.
If an investment or financial opportunity seems too good to be true, assume that it
probably is a fraud– stay away. Remember: There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
Be frugal with yourself and generous with others.
Create an automated direct deposit for a small amount of money into an
investment account every month. Never look at the account. Don't pay any attention to it.
At the end of the day it is better sitting and crying in a Merc than in a rickshaw.
As fintechs evolved – now we have so many avenues to invest-at the click of a mouse - national to global, equity and debt– saving now is an easy and good habit– all frictions removed. And if you are persistent and have patience, money compounds–and suddenly you find money working for you .
The earlier you develop a good relationship with money– the better it is.
At the same time– do not hesitate or think twice on spending on good diet, health, books and
Self improvement- these investments never go to waste - these investments compound.
My only regret is that I did not listen to the wise advice of my elders initially –the saving and spending habits neurons get wired at a very young age– once wired it is very difficult to change.
A book i would recommend every youngster to read
The richest man in babylon
Pay yourself first.
This is the most important lesson of the book, and it is one that is often overlooked. When you earn money, set aside a portion of it for yourself before you pay any bills or expenses. This is called "paying yourself first." It is the best way to save money and build wealth.
Live within your means.
This means spending less money than you earn. It is important to track your income and expenses so that you can see where your money is going. Once you know where your money is going, you can make changes to your spending habits so that you can live within your means.
Make your money work for you. Once you have saved some money, you can start to invest it. Investing is a way to make your money grow over time. There are many different types of investments available, so it is important to do your research and choose investments that are right for you.
Protect your wealth. Once you have built some wealth, it is important to protect it. This means having a plan in place for unexpected expenses, such as job loss or medical bills. It also means having insurance to protect your assets.
Invest in yourself.
The best investment you can make is in yourself.
Educate yourself and develop your skills so that you can earn more money.
Surround yourself with winners.
Surround yourself with people who are positive and successful.
Be patient. It takes time to build wealth. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately. Just keep following the principles above and you will eventually reach your financial goals.
Some specific financial books that are popular among beginners include:
1️⃣ The psychology of money– Morgan Housel
• Everything in life compounds
• Invest in assets
• Always use a margin of safety
2️⃣ I will teach you to be rich– Ramit Sethi
• Create great money habits
• Spend what is left after saving
• Set clear financial goals
3️⃣ The Millionaire Fastlane– MJ Demarco
• Control your time
• Real wealth is created by solving problems
• Have multiple income streams.
4️⃣ Think and Grow Rich– Napolean Hill
• Diversify your investments
• Surround yourself with smart people
• Invest in yourself
5️⃣ Rich Dad, Poor Dad– Robert Y. Kiyosaki
• Buy income-generating assets
• Financial education is key
• Work for money. Then let money work for you
6️⃣ Your money or your life- Vicky Robin
• Simplify your life
• Focus on achieving financial independence
• Track your monthly expenses
Saturday, September 2, 2023
How I use my apps
Before apps came in –marketing
Before the era of mobile applications, I used to thoroughly enjoy going to the bustling vegetable market in my childhood days. It was a delightful experience to grab a market bag, particularly on holidays, and immerse myself in the vibrant atmosphere. Despite the somewhat grim conditions, with the presence of cows nudging around and the occasional threat of being bitten by stray dogs or gored by bulls, I relished the opportunity to interact with the vendors and engage in spirited haggling.
Even though I would occasionally fall victim to their tricks, I would return home feeling content. Afterward, I would dedicate both time and effort to thoroughly cleanse myself and the fresh produce from the market, ensuring everything was ready for storage. This routine always left me with a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment.
As Tech stepped in marketing became a breeze
Technology became a boon as we grew up and faced time constraints. Going to the market and finding parking became a hassle, wasting valuable time and effort. Then technology intervened. When COVID struck, it was technology and apps that kept us safe. Initially, there was resistance to using these apps, but over time, things became smoother. Friction reduced, from adding items to our cart to making a single click payment.
Now, it has become an essential habit. We can order anything, at any time, at a discounted price, all from the comfort of our homes. These orders are delivered seamlessly while we continue with our daily routines. Personally, I appreciate the feature that allows us to track the rider on their way to the delivery point.
Grocery advantage
The vegetables came fresh, washed, packed– the fish and meat came- fresh, cleaned and hygienically packed- you just had to put it in the refrigerator.If it was not available on Swiggy, we switched to Blinkit, if not Bigbasket,Licious, Fresh
We chose only the things we needed– the tendency to heap up your electronic cart with things which were not needed - just reduced unnecessary spending– .
It saved time, it saved petrol, it saved parking headache, – and we got things safely delivered at any time of the day- the apps evolved– the delivery time got reduced to minutes from days – it was a win-win situation for all. It has been ages since I have visited a vegetable or fish market–
Banking and investing
Another thing which these apps made easy– investing– all forms -from gold, stock market, FD , crypto to other forms of alternative investments was available at your fingertips– national to international
Going to the bank with a cheque in hand to deposit or transfer money is a passe–although a favourite pastime for retired people to get away from the confines of home as a little breather– meet soulmates and enjoy a cup of coffee. Otherwise with enhanced cybersecurity every transaction leaves an electronic trail– they are safe now . In fact the neo banks even do not exist physically – everything is in the cloud.
Reading books and newspapers
Although I still like the feel of newspapers – the newspaper apps - have made international papers to national papers reading pleasure– the apps are friendly and a pleasure to use – and the news gets updated throughout the day.
Kindle was a boon– you could carry a large number of books anywhere delivered instantly into your library, you could add a bookmark–a dictionary to guide you instantly, and the cost of the books were also at a much reduced price.You could also read at night without disturbing the sleep of your spouse-as no bedside lamp was required-
You can now listen to them on your Audible app-as it lulled you to sleep– when you missed listening to a paragraph– you knew it was time to doze away– and dream of the sweet stories of the book you were listening to.
Music
The apps have revolutionised how you listen to your favourite songs, podcasts, your favourite songs, artists at your fingertips, the whole rigmarole of tapes and CD ,s are out–listen anywhere and anytime, shuffle, build a playlist.
Spotify is my favourite– and now they introduced something called smart shuffle– they automatically play your favourite next song
Conferences
COVID was an eyeopener– you had to have the right app to gain knowledge, from anywhere, anytime– there was no need for a massive spend on physical conferences. It was a win-win situation for all. You need one of the webcast apps and you are ready to go.
AI integration
This has come as a big boon – if you know how to integrate it with your apps- but the real good ones are beyond a paywall– and now you have to be a master at prompts to get the best out of it.
Friday, September 1, 2023
My journey with pen
I had a fetish for pens– fountain pens .
``` During our childhood, the school emphasised the importance of beginning our writing journey with a fountain pen. They believed that using this instrument during our formative years would help us develop a clear and proper handwriting that would last a lifetime. However, despite practising cursive writing diligently, I seemed to be cursed when it came to achieving good handwriting. ```
But during the journey, I actually started liking fountain pens. Back in our childhood days, there were no fancy gadgets to fill the ink. You had to tilt the bottle and fill up the bottom half. And, inevitably, by the time you were done, your hands would be covered in blue or black ink from Camlin.
We were prohibited from using ballpoint pens because it was believed they would negatively affect our handwriting. However, I have discovered that this belief was actually a myth. Ballpoint pens are neat, offer much better handwriting, and can be preserved. On the other hand, fountain pens have become more of an accessory used to show off, but they produce the worst handwriting. Of course, the quality of the handwriting also depends on the person using the pen.
During childhood, ink pens had another use. If you had a fight or didn't like a teacher, you could sneak up on them and just one swipe of the fountain pen was enough for revenge. The best part was that there was no evidence of the crime, allowing you to leave the scene without being caught.
Nowadays your proficiency depends upon your proficiency on qwerty keyboard - digital signatures– etc– a stylet and a ruffpad,even the writers type their stories on the computer– it is easy to make amends – but as a doctor – i still have to scribble prescriptions- and ball point pen is my favourite– the ink is permanent- does not smudge – remains legible for a long time– the pen flows–a fountain pen is a nuisance– the writing slows down- the quality goes down- it smudges –it is hard to decipher when the patient comes to you on next visit.
But holy grail of the writing world – absurdly priced - expensively advertised - an aura has been built around the uniqueness of the fountain pen and the ink–around fountain pen– a mont Blanc , a parker or a waterman, a lamy – in fact i see it as a mark of narcissism Nowadays, proficiency on the QWERTY keyboard, digital signatures, and other technologies such as stylets and ruffpads are crucial. Even writers now type their stories on computers, finding it easier to make corrections. However, as a doctor, I still find myself scribbling prescriptions.
My preferred writing tool is a ballpoint pen, as the ink is permanent, doesn't smudge, and remains legible for a long time. The pen flows smoothly, unlike fountain pens that tend to slow down the writing process and decrease quality. Fountain pens also have a tendency to smudge, making it difficult to decipher when the patient comes for their next visit. Despite these drawbacks, fountain pens such as Mont Blanc, Parker, Waterman, and Lamy are seen as the holy grail of the writing world, with exorbitant prices and extensive advertising campaigns building an aura around their uniqueness. Personally, I view displaying the signature cap of these pens peeking out of one's coat pocket as a display of narcissism. when you exhibit the signature cap of the pen peeping out of your coat pocket.
Ink - we were supposed to use blue-black ink, which I find to be the most horrible colour. Personally, I prefer black ink, but it carries with it a certain ominous connotation.And my favourite was Camlin– now I have switched to Parker.
However, the pen, regardless of its form, will always remain an integral part of civilization. Despite the rise of keyboards and audio-to-text applications, from ballpoint pens to styluses, I still enjoy the tactile experience of holding a fountain pen in my hand. It makes me feel good, and I will continue to do so indefinitely.
Saturday, August 19, 2023
I get high on medical conferences-without malice towards none at all
I get high on medical conferences.
I am from the medical profession specialising in the field of dermatology. Dermatology is a profession which thrives on conferences– one conference fades into another– like our country which is perpetually on election mode– Dermatology is perpetually on a conference mode– each patting their back– about how successful their conference was.
Our annual conferences were a grand affair–knowledge, food, entertainment, venue– a heady cocktail of the best of the best– always looked forward to– planning started much in advance. And every year post conference we came back bloated – with food , entertainment and a little knowledge which lasted till the next conference,
The initial days
Got introduced to medical conferences soon after doing my PG–initially I was very serious in approaching a conference– would be in the venue on time– and would be the last person to leave the hall– take notes– and collate them once back to the room- plan the next day's speakers.
The first day – CME day– was a one hall affair- so nothing much running about to do. You collect your coffee – and get mesmerised– by the amount of knowledge overflowing in the hall.
One of the earlier conferences which I have vivid memories was the international conference at Ashoka Hotel– new Delhi– those were the halcyon days–speakers were too good so was the ambience and the entertainment - was wide eyed at the lavish spread of food - i became a diehard fan of conferences - Amjad ali khan-i remember that while tuning up his Sarod got irritated and rebuked the waiters who were putting up and clanking plates for dinner at the background– and then he rendered his recital to perfection.
Then it dawned on me, as I gained experience attending conferences, that there was a recurring pattern: the same speaker discussing the same topic, just changing the locations and shuffling through slides.
Sometimes they seemed disoriented, as evidenced by their first slide on the presentation where they had forgotten to update the venue information. There was no original research being presented; the so-called "new" ideas were simply rehashed versions of what had already been published in Western literature.
It took me some time to realise that national conferences served a different purpose: they were primarily for socialising, networking, and making connections. If you wanted to gain knowledge, you were better off exploring other avenues. Conferences were more about indulging in the excitement and extravagance, rather than focusing on intellectual growth.
The presentation and the presenters
Speakers with substance borrowed from Western literature
I remained deeply intrigued by specific speakers, particularly those who recounted their firsthand accounts of utilising innovative drugs or techniques within their own practices. These individuals adeptly merged elements from Western literature and practices with Indian sensibilities, imparting a wealth of knowledge upon me.
Their curious minds constantly sought out fresh ideas, and it was through introspection that I grasped the multitude of possibilities lying beneath the mere words on a page – numerous avenues for interpreting and creatively implementing pharmaceuticals or refining surgical procedures. Ultimately, my attention zeroed in on these exceptional speakers, allowing me to gain invaluable insights that greatly influenced my daily professional endeavours.
Speakers with impressive slides– san content
Some speakers concentrated more on putting some funny caricature on their slides– the caricatures really were very well thought about –hoped their scientific content was also as well thought about as their funny caricatures as it took the attention away from the main content.
The Originals and experts
Some speakers who took the podium were an expert in that field striving to bring knowledge from the lab table to the bedside– they spoke with authority quoting from their own experience– no frill slides– in fact the slides were simple black and white
Mostly they were foreign speakers as i realised that from whatever esteemed institutions from India one may be– not an iota of original research has transcended from lab to bedside, all the research funds always gets diverted towards frivolous expenditure in the bargain the department gets a new machine or a new research paper to publish which is of hardly any use- i realise when most of our speakers were -self acclaimed, self proclaimed and very few were self made.
The PG level speakers
Then there were a set of speakers- who copied verbatim from books–unaware that the audience they were talking to were not PG students– some faltered on the slides– you could make out it was made by his residents.
The topical experts
Then over the years people became so called topical experts- they caught hold of one topic- mainly on which they had written their thesis- and expanded and proliferated like the East Indian company– on the opium trade– not a morsel of original research or ideas. Sister societies evolved into topical societies–and once the international journals and papers became available at the touch of a finger– the halo of knowledge began to fade .
Pay to Play
The worst speakers were the ones who had conflict of interest- they had sold their soul to the pharma industry which did not have any conscience.Pharma industry was profit driven– they always had their pound of flesh– at the expense of patients.
The holy grail of Hippocrates' oath had turned 180 degrees to the hypocrite's oath– courtesy the pharma industry– as soon as they put up their first slide–you knew that he had been sponsored.
The mentors
Some speakers had the zeal of mentorship in them. The way they used to teach the newbies whenever they put up a query to them was a pleasure to watch– they explained it so lucidly in the corridors of conferences or wherever you could accost them– they never needed a podium - i always stood at the fringe and listened to them
But some were so good- that you did not mind if they exceeded their time.Few speakers had rehearsed their presentation to perfection.
Speak or perish became the motto for some – it had some kind of narcissism attached to it.
The audience:
They are of different characters, of different motives, and come with different agendas.
The serious ones
There was a group of doctors– hats of to their dedications and zeal for knowledge, they were always sitting in the front rows oblivious of everything– drinking in every word of the speaker -taking notes– and at the end of day their conference bags were full of knowledge and not from the curios from the exhibition area–but this lot is now becoming an endangered species.
The politicians
The audience– some came to politicise- you be sure that this guy is standing for some organisational posts– when someone whom you have never met– suddenly tries to be friendly– or you start getting unsolicited messages on your WAP from unsaved numbers .
E voting– was one of the best things to happen– suddenly in a WAP group a chap who has been a perpetual lurker -suddenly starts everyday Good morning wishes– putting irrelevant comments of appreciation to become visible– – you know election time has come–and after elections suddenly – they vanish again– some to lick their wounds – some to enjoy the fruits of labour– for lifetime, some do perform– exceptionally well.
The Thailla -semias
Then there is another group of audience– who hardly enter the halls– they are more interested in freebies and collecting gift tokens from the exhibition stalls. At the end of the day they are duck walking laden with bags– you have to separate the bags- to find as to whether you are addressing the right chap .
The merrymakers
Then there is a group of participants–they come on the first day to register and last day to collect the CME certificates-then off sightseeing with the family– conference is a big break for them from their busy private practice– of late a good step has been taken where the accompanying person is not allowed inside the hall.
The elusive GBM
Once out of inquisitiveness i tried to attend the so called GBM- where important decision about the administrative function was taken– i was surprised as to why people fought to become the host city– was it for prestige, was it for augmenting the profession or there was more to it that meets the eyes– well it was better to leave a sleeping dog lie.
I was impressed by the doctors who sat in the GBM when wonderful lectures were simultaneously taking place in the halls– always wondered if they must have attained Nirvana in Dermatology.
Quiz
The best part of the conference was the National quiz– it was a real enriching experience and was a sight as we saw the young PG students spar off wonderfully crafted questions by the quizmasters. Half of the questions – the veterans had no clue – but we sat grim faced as if we knew everything– like an impression given by a clueless examiner when he does not know the answer given by the student is right or wrong but sagely nods his head.
The questions were wonderfully curated and the quizmasters were a pleasure to watch – the way they smoothly conducted them– some of them could give the professional quizmasters a run for the money.
The orations
I have never attended international lectures– but I found the orations in our conferences– just a Linkedin profile of the speaker– with his or her achievements– during the oration time- other halls came to a standstill – it was the best time to go to the poster presentation area.
The exhibition area
Initially i was enamoured by the freebies doled out by the pharma companies, as i wanted to impress my spouse when i get back- used to collect the junk– even the flyers– and read them— in fact we had to collect two sets of each freebies– one for our respective consultant– carry the double load throughout the day, i just left going to the exhibition centre-as i saw through the marketing gimmick of the pharma chaps. Only the bags – served their purpose– now with app based marketing the bags are now a passe.
Galderma bag– the most coveted souvenir– it was so much in demand that people use to line up like a new product launch in an Apple i store– they even punched out your id card– so that you do not come back for a second one– i still wonder what was so enticing about the bag– that people got attracted to.
Now the pharma companies have become more stringent on their freebies after the new rules have kicked in– as a result the footfall has dropped significantly in the exhibition areas.
Chairpersons
The chairpersons–some where too good- short crisp, sticking to time some were so obnoxious– that if the speaker had 20 min– they would gobble up 10 min - some taking time to introduce themselves– and if you are from a govt institution– the easiest way to get reimbursement, at the same time without the pain of presenting –participating as a chairman was the easiest way– you even got a plaque.
Shift in Focus
The fascination for the topics changed–especially among the youngsters–it shifted from clinical to cosmetic surgery, not even cold steel surgery– dermatology took a turn it became industry driven– the idea was if you had spent crores for getting your PG seat– it was time to reap it back with vengeance .
Clinical dermatology was dying because it was not paying- only a gratitude from a patient would not fill your stomach – except for a few fossilised stalwarts who religiously attended clinical lectures– sat in the first few seats– always took notes– and it was a pleasure seeing their appetite for knowledge.
Now anything to do with cosmetic dermatology like lasers, fillers, peels – will have the hall bursting at its seams–as we enter the race to pump up the wealthy and beautify the healthy.
Attended a few workshops and found the doctor as dysmorphic as the patient– a perfect normal smile – convincing the patient that it is crooked, perfectly normal wrinkles– counselling for hours to wipe it out– the patient lying still for hours to get their new crop of hair– but that is where the mullah was– the workshops were bursting at seams.
But i am hopeful dermatology like life will come full circle– clinical derm satisfies your soul while cosmetic derm your pocket.
The evening banquet
Evening gala dinner– is one of the talking point of the conferences– actually now sometimes the accommodation is little far away from the venue-so some guys just stay back till the whole procedure ends– and it is a sight– the drinks, the food , the dances , the entertainment by bigwigs– all flows and are in plenty– massive extravaganza– you feel you are in a Mughal court
So after the first day of gala dinner– the next day - the hangover makes you late reaching the conference venue– by the second day– the spices and curry and the spirits have taken their toll– you yearn for a simple dal roti- and pray for the conference to end.
And people seemed to attend a lot of parallel mini banquets at different venues– and the next day exchanging notes.
The food
After the first few conferences– I got the trick– migrate towards the counter with plain Dal and tawa roti– and whole fruits if it was not cut– if you wanted to survive the gastronomic onslaught of three days of day and night feasting.
You were spoilt for choice– some people it was hard to preserve both the array of collected bags and the food line– you had to navigate skilfully between mounds of bags lying on the floor to reach the food counter-and there i always got confused– rotis were 10 types, dal 5 types, a salad counter, a fruit counter– laden like the feast of Mughal court– but after three conferences i honed my diet plan– it was dal and Roti from the first day. Who said – in India people die of malnutrition?
Food coupons – in yesteryears– the food was on coupons– and you had to be real careful in preserving them, you could always dole out them if you did not feel like attending and especially to someone who has come with family,then came barcoding– on your delegate tag– that was better– you need not worry about your coupons getting lost .
Accomodation
The accommodation– being in a government job– we always scrounged in some govt mess or guest room – and was surprised to see the fresh graduates attending the conferences bragging about their 3 star accommodations , private pick up and drop vehicles– i remember one conference– the dancing went on late into the night– when i came out of the venue, as the private taxis whizzed past– i had to trudge back on foot– i always wondered about their paying capacity– but later learned that there was more to it that meets the eyes.
The Poster Presentation
This section was a mine house of information.But you had to dig them out– unique cases , unique presentations– very neatly made– you could spend hours in this section–especially skipping then heavy lunch. Because the next day a new set replaced the old- then came the E posters–
The E posters stayed there - you could lazily browse – I always liked the poster presentation– although sometimes the panel of judges were rigged to give favours- the case presentations were really an honest effort – by the residents – and i always made it a point to read each one.
The transformation
Suddenly the number of conferences proliferated like the hair locks of Medusa. One main body just proliferated into a number of sister societies like a chapter in a book. Each topic became a topical society– each chapter in a book became a new society – became a SIG– and each sister society had their own sister conferences – and each conference merged into another throughout the year.
It felt like walking down a lane in Gariahat– where hawkers– sell their wares– shouting that there's is better– than the others–so did the conferences
COVID transformed me
For me– I stopped attending conferences after COVID - it taught us you do not need such elaborate paraphernalia to gain knowledge- you need a laptop and net–you gain knowledge anytime and anywhere– it was a colossal waste of resources to attend such extravaganza. But I also realised we human beings were social animals– conference animals who were so long caged by the epidemic– just wanted physical conferences to be back with a bang. I tried to understand the itch– but could not– perhaps everyone is wired differently.
To be continued__________
Friday, July 28, 2023
How i am trying to pull back from wasting my time on doomscrolling
No timers–no self help books , no articles on phone addiction could help me from the time wasted on scrolling and the overwhelming feeling which drove me was FOMO and the fear of losing one's credibility and acceptance in the society.
I had only two social app on my phone– twitter and whattsapp group. And even these two proved to be addictive and counterproductive– first thing i did was to turn off notifications– it did not work– there was something uncanny about your hand reaching to the phone unknowingly– then i started archiving the addictive groups and the first thing i was reaching for was the archived ones- slowly it took time– now i do not - i scan the archive group only on Sundays–and mostly clear chat them.
Keep the phone in another room when you are working– did not work– and the best part about it was once you started scrolling– you lost track of time– and before you realise that you have transported yourself to another world– from where it was difficult to pull yourself back and took time to delve back into your work again.
At the end of doom scroll– you felt emotionally drained out– and especially if you have left a comment or tweeted- your tendency is to again reach out - to find out a countercomment or the amount of times your tweet has been viewed-this acts like a narcotic, and sometimes i do have - solid withdrawal symptoms–i do not know which part of the brain gets addictive– but social media was addictive. Even these two apps were enough for me to waste my time.
Social media was bad– i would not have spoken the same words , or would have been so uncouth if i was talking to the person physically - you know how to hide your emotions when you meet someone personally .on social media - you sometimes become passive aggressive or you are totally aggressive with a person or a group– as you are not in physical touch.
Reading a book, while seeing a patient, on the dinner table, in the bathroom– during morning walks– I could not help myself– and you cannot blame the app– I missed the beauty of each activity– because the apps came knocking and interrupted me - every time I was deep diving into my work.
Leaving a group especially where you are in touch with your childhood and college friends and also a group which lets you keep in touch with your profession is painful– you lose touch socially and intellectually– so would prune my groups to minimum two. We are hesitant to exit a group –but i realised– nobody will miss you for months , after sometime people will forget that you existed so leave when you want-don't feel you are indispensable - you also won't miss the group online as you go ahead in life and remain engaged in more engaging activities .I picked up three platforms where i could express myself –Medium, Google Blogs, One day Journal apps. Am trying - and they are good platform for catharsis for your feelings.
Twitter scrolling still remains a problem– restricted myself to following people– which according to me has common interest. But still one tweet merges into another and once you get sucked into the wormhole–it takes a effort to prise yourself back
The worst part is if you have opened your social apps within one hour of waking up in the morning - you have destroyed your peace of mind, your productivity and suddenly the day begins in a very chaotic mode.
I tried Pomodoro technique, tied a rubber band to my wrist–all to no avail– it was like alcoholism– starts with a drink or two initially and at the end of the day before you realise the day starts with a drink. Like we do when we wake up - the first thing in the morning– we reach for our smartphones–it is addictive.
As with my other vices– which nothing helped to quit but self determination–it would only be my self determination to quit once I decide that enough is enough.
And it will be soon.
Tuesday, July 18, 2023
Morning walkers--it's pleasure watching them
Carpe Diem– only the morning walkers are capable of-
Go for a techfree walk, without your headphones, mobile phones– then you will observe the surroundings– the flowers , the plants, the sky, the sights and sounds of your fellow walkers–
Every walker which you pass by tells you a story– by their gait, accessories,by their company they keep, by catching a snippet from their talks. You can typecast them and it is a fun -
The serious ones–There is a group of walkers who take their morning walk very seriously,-- they have multiple contraceptions around the body, – intermittently checking each gadget for performance, speed, calories, – with earplugs on to shut out external diversions– perfect high end shoes for running, and the apparel– are too good.I like their well chiselled , fat free profile– but am not ready to emulate it– as it comes with a high price tag– for them health becomes an obsession–the idea of being healthy devours them.
The childhood friends–Then comes a selection of morning walk who walk in groups– childhood friends, easygoing walk enjoying anecdotes, small talks- and enjoying each other company- it is fun hearing their snippets as you pass by.i realise the small talks, pulling each other legs is what keeps them alive. They bring a smile to your face.
The selfie millennials -Then comes the morning walkers who generally visit the park once in a year– generally the youngsters– all bedecked up- for their instagram reels only– because at this age we believe in the immortality of health and life– so exercise becomes the last priority.Most of us do not realise the value of health and time till it is gone.
The conjugal ones-Then comes the couples- cordant and discordant depending upon the duration of their marriage. The level of communication is directly proportional to the duration of their marriage-among them it is a pleasure to see a few couples whose infatuation of young age has evolved into old age love and bond has become stronger– i envy them– there is an aura of peace and tranquillity around them.
The rogues-Then comes a section of people who after years of borrowed health in form of drinking, unhealthy diet, resultant obesity and comorbidities- suddenly wake up one morning to say enough is enough– its time to reverse the cycle–for some it is not late– but for some– i doubt– but persistence pays.
The genial ones–There is a very small minority of walkers especially elderly who wish everyone with a lovely smile and -Jai Shri Ram– i make a point to wish them back– and give a smile– it makes me feel at the top of the world.
The giveaway Faces–Their faces sometimes reveal their escapades the night before– puffy and red eyes and a bloated face indicates–a good drinking bout the night before and the morning walk is just a penance for his last night sins. A satisfied face with a satiated smile and all wet cat’s whiskers means he had an enjoyable union.
The clubs–I like the motley group of people who form yoga clubs– sometimes i join them for exercise– i cannot meditate- my mind is too frisky for that- suryanamaskar and pranayam is enough for me to get going for the day. Then there is another group – laughter club– it is infectious- as you walk by them you automatically break into a smile and a grin. I like the musical group the most– the group sings their heart out on karaoke -oblivious of the world, and a second group who does aerobic on modern hindi songs– i join them– and it tells how unfit i am as far body mobility is concerned.
The outdoors ones–And i salute the parents who have succeeded in unhooking their kids from the screen as they are enjoying the fun of badminton, frisby, cricket.
The accessories–I really like the head accessories- caps at different angles, colorful bandanas with hair peaking out , ponytailed millennials. And so are the wrist accessories– the heavy stylish watches of yesteryears have given way to fitness bands- some still listen to music on their phones– some through their earbuds and the oldies are stil stuck to wired headphones.
All in all a techfree morning walk - is a pleasure for the eyes and the mind.
Tuesday, July 11, 2023
Never let your quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough
I was in a cushy government job– as far as pay was concerned i was in the top bracket– but the promotion and challenges in life got stagnant- wanted to ride the hamster wheel again– despite being in a comfort zone– but i did not want to get into the rat race again-because whether you win or lose does not matter-you will remain a rat at the end - so in my comfort zone where i did not have to worry about the basic amenities in life -time was mine– i had the choice how to spend it – because that is one thing which we think is unlimited–but it is limited.
In the capitalistic world we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary. Winners are those who achieve the extraordinary, losers are those who do not.
The two mindset shifts to escape the trap:
It’s not about achieving the extraordinary, it's about finding purpose, joy, and fulfilment in the ordinary along the way.
The prize is not the achievement you strive for, but the striving itself.
To reach the comfortable zone- I had to quash my dreams– when kids were playing outside during the evening– i was cramming books. I studied , i plodded –medicine was a tasking profession– 4 and half years for MBBS, one year of internship- study hard again to get a PG seat – 3 years of PG– again study hard to get a superspeciality–superspeciality for 2 years– then establish a practice and it take years to get into a comfort zone– by the time you have enough money– you have a greying hair, you lose your zeal of life– having lost interest in all leisurely activities .
But there is another side to it– once you are in the comfort zone–pick up where you left your life- try to bring back the hobbies the activities that you enjoyed– i picked up the story books which i wanted to read always and read them at leisurely pace ruminating every word– suddenly a new world opened up– there was a world beyond medicine-it was more colourful, lively – could enjoy all because i was in a comfort zone. Because shifting the goalpost again– will take you back to the same rut.
Suddenly i found there is healthy food – beyond fast food – years of odd hours during education days we ate food whatever was near reach– irrespective of the quality and quantity-but once i was in a the comfort zone– off the hamster wheel– i could choose– my diet and food– and the best food which suited me was fruits, nuts and lean meat–i could control my weight, feel energetic, go for your daily workouts– because food and health is something which you -invest - and don’t borrow- i could do all this because i was in a comfort zone.
So did i have to come out again to the hamster wheel– i introspected– i did not feel the need– for money – what does money change in my life? The Trap of the Extraordinary is that This is about dislocating your happiness from any "ends" you're trying to reach. It's about avoiding the "when, then" psychology that says "when I get [X], then I'll be happy." So
1) if you can pay your bills and your rent without stress :
It used to take half an hour for finding the right prepaid plan for my mobile– now it is postpaid- just pay the bill at the month end. Same with the rent– in the comfort zone– the office looks after your rent and bills. So what do i need more
2)if you can eat at any restaurant without looking or worrying about the price
Used to go to a hotel–used to read the menu from right to left– once in a comfort zone– it is the quality of the food that decides– in fact now i do not even try to open a menu when i go for fine dining-just ask the waiter- the best dish in his menu- and order – but now a single dish is a overkill
3)if you can travel wherever you want without worrying about the price
Yes- it was always scrounging the travel apps - for the best deals– but now - generally going to the place of desire-staying in a decent hotel– which has a lavish buffet breakfast spread is not much of a problem.
Beyond this, life doesn’t change with more money.
I refused to go back to the hamster wheel again.
Do you really have to come out of comfort zone to an uncomfortable one– and again struggle to get to the comfort zone again.
Four things on which you lived on borrowed time– health, food, money, relationships– now invest in them from your comfort zone. Borrowing leads to credit which you have to pay back with interest while investments compounds your effort.
Make the ordinary come alive and the extraordinary will take care of itself.
Remember: Never let your quest for more distract you from the beauty of enough.
Tuesday, June 13, 2023
God and the sky
God and the sky
He paints, and his repertoire of colors, the size of his paintbrush, and the color combinations on his palette are infinite.
He paints by drawing the sun across the horizon; he paints by sprinkling the sky with a handful of clouds; afternoon, as usual, is an orphan; it belongs to no one; so he also has a siesta, rising up to paint the evening sky with wonderful hues. and the scene, the hue, everything changes by the seconds—if you have blinked your eye, you are going to miss the symphony.
I like the evening sky more than the morning sky—huge molten pots of gold, from yellow to brilliant red—he brings out his whole paintbox.
The morning sky is more benign—meditative, still rubbing its eyes as the gentle morning breeze plays with the clouds, arranging and rearranging them like a jigsaw puzzle.
While the evening sun before settling down to sleep always sheds a tear at the follies of humans with the promise of a better tomorrow,
Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storms, but to add colour to my sunset sky."
But actually, we in this technological era have forgotten to look up, to feel, and to smell—the technological brilliance of the blue screen has replaced the natural brilliance of the blue sky.
Wednesday, June 7, 2023
My journey from coffee to chai
Sunday, May 28, 2023
When you wear scrubs at work
I always felt a distance creep in between me and my patients when I put on my formal dress of a shirt and tie with the doctor's coat on top. The court would put a guard between me and them if they had difficulty coming forth with their anguish and complaints.
Changing to scrubs helped—with no mark of identification on you, the interchange became fluid and cordial—more like between friends—and that's when the true history came out—about their disease, their suffering, and how it was affecting them both physically and mentally. It was easy to treat them physically but tough to mend their scarred psyche.
It altered my ego also—it just vanished—and it became a pleasure listening to them and helping them out. Although I had a hidden agenda, I believed in karma—the good you do to others comes back to you in a different way, albeit. And it does—the book of debit and credit in life gets balanced in this lifetime.
The ease of working with scrubs was heavenly; it was during the COVID times when the sartorial transition took place that we would change into scrubs once we reached the hospital and back to our clothes when coming back home so as not to bring the virus back. And the practise persisted.
For us, it was so much comfort, and for the patient, the communication barrier went down. We could talk freely about their disease and their social lives. Actually, every patient who walks through your door has a story to tell.
So sit back, relax, and listen to their story.
A man with vitiligo is not bothered about his skin ailment; he is more bothered about his ostracization from society. When he does not see the doctor's coat, the wall falls, and he has tonnes of tales to tell. You listen—you learn.
The patient with a single patch of psoriasis has so much anguish lying beneath the skin that wearing an innocuous scrub puts him at ease, and you can look into his private world and give a holistic treatment.
A teenager with acne scars is depressed because of his scars; the skin creams are his last priority; it is his scarred psyche that needs mending.
The scrub scrubs out the friction with the patient.
As you take down the scrub and head for home, you let out a contented sigh. When you take down your scrub, unlike a doctor's coat, there is no shedding of ego, as a scrub has only empathy attached to it.
Friday, May 19, 2023
I am an introvert and i am not antisocial.
I am an introvert, and I am not antisocial.
We are different.
We speak through silence—we listen rapturously to it and try to memorise it. Silence speaks to us without words. Silence is the best manure to grow.
Generally, only my better half realises my nature; society does not. I turn into an ambivert in a social gathering—I make small talks, I mingle—but two hours of social interaction require four hours of isolation to recharge.
I am a hardcore introvert—my profession as a doctor demands otherwise—so I have to turn ambivert sometimes, especially when I am communicating with my patients. It cannot be a one way affair with them.
I did not miss the social life during COVID isolation. In fact, the isolation came as a breath of fresh air. After a tense day at the hospital, you wanted to be left alone to collect your thoughts and get back your sanity.
Give me a good book, some good podcasts on Spotify, and a few movies on Netflix, and I am good to go.
In fact, my better half sometimes gets surprised by the fact that I do have friends—good friends—who are there by my side at the drop of a hat. Introverts are just as capable of forming close relationships as extroverts. They may simply do it in a different way.
I never cared for the likes and dislikes on social media—I left it long ago because I did not feel the need for external validation—and I wanted to grow silently. I even hate video calls. I hate to discuss my health, my wealth, or my family in a public forum; I like to listen to others.
Saturday evenings—give me a good book, a warm nook, a virgin mojito, and leave me alone. I wonder how one can go to clubs, get sozzled, throw epileptic fits, eat the most unhealthy of diets, and then waste the whole Sunday nursing a big hangover. Tell that to an extrovert, and he will think that you are an alien.
I am not antisocial; I find it a huge waste of time to spend the evening just sitting, gossiping, and eating unless there is a special occasion.
I still like to pen down my thoughts and life in our own personal diary (I use the "Day One" app). As we are too private with our thoughts and feelings—journaling has been a great game changer—you can literally run amok with your feelings.
When it comes to attending a social function that is unavoidable, suddenly I turn into an ambivert . I am not afraid of social interaction; I just open up with the books I have read, the great series streaming on Netflix, and the wonderful Tim Ferris podcast, and it is fun listening to others when you can recollect the same at their next meeting. But at the end of the party, when I see the extroverts fully charged, I am strictly the opposite; I am just drained. I need isolation to recharge.
While extroverts prefer an evening full of bonhomie, fun, and frolic, we like to recede in our cave.
My typical day is very boring: an early morning walk with my thoughts, ideas, and Spotify podcasts; making my own breakfast; an OPD full of patients; where I love to talk and hear; and at the end of the day, it is so refreshing. I like my afternoon siesta with my phone on aeroplane mode. Evening is swimming time—the rhythmic strokes surrounded by your rhythmic thoughts. Have a list of excuses if someone invites you to an evening party. As extroverts find our lives boring, so do we find their days extravagant.
It is important to celebrate these differences and to create a world where introverts feel welcome and accepted.
Saturday, May 13, 2023
Comfort zone makes you the greatest procrastinator --or does it? My story
You get afraid of facing challenges of life and it brings out the worst in you -never let you know your full potential--let alone develop it.
Cocooned in the zone -you defy the poem of Robert Frost -- of taking the road less travelled. You always travel the road on which everyone travels-- as you are sure of the destinations and hardships on your way to achieving your goal.
You travel on the same road again and again-- thinking your life is under control--refusing to come out of the false security cocoon. as a result at the end of the day -- you are at the same place where you started. No new skills, no new personality development, static income.
My story--
I was in a government job for almost 3 decades--
where horses and donkeys are all the same--
there is no respect for your inefficiency or efficiency-
at the end of the month -- you are happy with your guaranteed fixed income. The month passes balancing your budget of credits and debits- waiting for next month's assured pay check.
Why was I afraid to come out?
I was afraid of family obligations and my general basic nature of not taking any risks.
Whenever I am on a long drive --i always want to be at the wheel of my car-- controlling it--so is with life I always want all things under predictable control--
Actually I had not timed my premature retirement well-- my kid had not finished his studies-- home loan EMI was on -- the steady monthly income from a permanent job--lulled me.
The fear of unknown-- snapped me-- it was always -- what if? on the negative side. As a result I failed to take a single step to come out of the comfort zone.
And that is where in life-- the meek fails-- and the bold makes it.
Got stuck in the same everyday rut - month after month. A rolling stone gathers no moss-actually we gather so much moss that we forget to roll.
We are happy to see the world pass by -comforting myself that --if you do not shift the goal post-- you remain happy.But if you do not shift the goal post-- you would not know the various ways to dribble --or how to score more goals.
How did it harm me?
The sense of security in the comfort zone has kept me away from realizing my full potential.
Stopped developing new skills, kept on shutting doors of opportunities one by one which came my way. There were no new challenges-- so no new creative ideas it was a 9am to 5pm rut.
As a result when life threw actual challenges -- there was total lack of confidence and anxiety to combat these problems. and wanted to snuggle back to my zone of comfort-- which I did.
Lessons Learnt
Coming out of your comfort zone can be challenging
It requires a different set of mental make up-- to accept uncertainties in life-- to take calculated and uncalculated risks.
And I found that the transition was the most vulnerable part--when you realize who are your real friends--and who are there to take advantages of your vulnerability during your transition. Create achievable goals with small steps.
There were people along the way waiting like vultures who tried to take advantage of my fragile situation -- I realised the importance of my better half-- no questions asked, nothing in return -when she stood right behind me -- with solid integrity and loyality-steering me into a safe place whenever I got into a mess.
Realisation Dawned
I realised -- getting out of your comfort zone is a slow process-the initial struggle and effort is numbing--but it ultimately paves its way into way into success and glory --if you persist.
I may be talking with a mindset of a loser--the time to come out of your comfort zone is when you are young, you got the energy to begin a new life with vigor. Otherwise plan your premature retirement meticulously- so that it is a smooth transition from finances, EMI.s , house, child education , post retirement employment etc.
Suddenly your set routine of exercise, hobbies, diet, family time-- goes haywire-- while you are in pursuit of your new routine. and it does take a toll on your physical and mental life.
But there are also advantages of comfort zone if you are in a cushy government job--especially if you are in a comfortable pay bracket-- enough time to pursue your hobbies, enough time to look after your health, enough family time, a fulfilling social life, pick up new skills, develop a side hustle, and skill up yourself for picking up jobs -- post retirement-- to keep you occupied as you know at the month end-- the pension will be there.
Remember that coming out of your comfort zone takes time and effort. Don't be too hard on yourself if you struggle at first. With practice, you can learn to face challenges with confidence and courage.
And at the same time-- enjoying your comfort zone-- does not make you a loser.
Take your pick.
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