Confessions of a pandemic alcoholic.:

Alcohol kills. There is no safe limit. Liked the psychedelic effects but never the taste .It's like a web of a spider-tantalizing but fatal. 1. How did it's affect took me down the road to perdition-- • Bacchus arrived in my life with all its bawdiness and alcoholic miasma during the weekends when the Covid pandemic began and the weekend outings and socialization became a thing of the past . • Saturday evening used to begin with a buoyant mood as the blood level of the spirits used to rise sky high-- as there was no fear of being hauled up for drunken driving --Saturday binging used to extend to the wee hours and end amidst a drunken stupor. • Sunday hangover--forgot what a Sunday morning looks like --it was lost in a haze of severe hangover with a splitting headache , dehydration ,rolling in the bed till lunch, a restless sleep, and sometimes a large tot during lunchtime to beat the hangover, which was leading me to a closet drinking addict . • Monday morning was a psychological wreck compounded with Monday blues--and it was almost midweek when I limped back into some semblance of normalcy. Hangover--Industries have spawned on the best concoction for the morning after--but frankly nothing works. only hydration, pain killers and lots of sleep- especially the next day afternoon nap. • Midweek it was always that attitude of achieving the Google Fit targets--thrilled to see- when the app used to announce that I have achieved the target AHA heart points so that I could immerse myself into my quota of drinks in the weekend. • But alcohol in whatever form is merciless --the side effects and after effects are same whether you are on a single malt or country liquor, whether you are a mild, moderate or a heavy drinker , whether you space out your drinks or go into a binging spree-- it always takes it pound of flesh. • The power of Bacchus is too irresistible-- it draws you in like a spider web-- with the hypnotism of the eyes of a Mamba snake. Reeling in slowly and surely -your health-- physical and mental, your wealth, your morality, your family life, your social relations --leaving them tattered and broken -the worst thing it breaks your soul and nobody can pull you out of the vortex -- but only your own willpower and determination. 2. Few things which you should not do when you are in high spirits • never promise anyone anything. • never go on the social media • never be on online shopping, • never loose temper • never go out for a drive • never get into a brawl. • you will surely repent once the effect of alcohol is over and wished that you had not engaged with any of them- as it would be too late to repent- it would take days to undo the damage. 3. What did i lose • Health--The body gets battered by even a single-weekend binge--it took almost 48 hours to return your body's normal metabolism- being a doctor -- next day clinic was a nightmare- you are dehydrated, you have a splitting headache, you feel like lying down--and the patient in front of you goes on elaborating their complaints, which you can lend only half a ear-- and wish the OPD comes to an end so that you can rush back and only about a couple of hours of afternoon nap-- you get back some semblance of normalcy. • There is nothing called --safe limit of alcohol-- however you may fool yourself trying to hoodwink its harmful effects by so called regular workouts and diets-- there is no respite-- your blood cholesterol will go out of control, your Liver function tests will be distorted and so there would be a wildly swinging blood sugar level. Liver--as a organ is very forgiving-- it regenerates and replenishes with alacrity-- but every being is not immune to constant abuse and there is a time when degeneration outpaces regeneration. • As soon as 24 hrs pass- alcohol level going down to normal-- the body wants more- and a vicious circle starts. Bacchus has a unique way of enticing you --when you wake up on Sunday with a massive hangover-- the first thing which you promise to yourself is to leave your drinks once and for all --but cometh the weekend , its always like why not relax and have a drink or two -- you latch on to your old ways-- the cycle of binging, the cycle of hangover, the cycle of renaissance -- everything falls back in place. • Wealth -yes the same money which could have been used for purchasing a yoga routine, gym routine, new books, secure the future of your child and family, build a home-- goes down the never ending vortex of a bottle of alcohol. Slowly and surely the bank balance drains off and at the time of crucial emergencies -you get into a spiraling whirlpool of debt. • Anxiety-- During the recovery phase after a hangover-- the body heals itself physically automatically-unless you are long gone. But the mind-- takes a longer time to heal--the anxiety, depression-leaves a void --you want to grip on to something to pull yourself up-- repeated bouts of this anxiety -leads you to depression--the psychological scar is not visible-- but the gash is more deeper-which can lead you to chronic alcoholism-- to escape the psychological effects • And once your self esteem - goes away you suddenly withdraw yourself socially-becoming a social recluse. 4.how did i regain my Saturdays and Sundays back? • Regaining back your sane Saturday evenings and a bright Sunday mornings requires lot of willpower and determination but once you are back to the road to recovery -- you should be determined to stay put there- as it is very easy to slip back into the arms of Bacchus at the slightest provocation. Leaving Saturday binges-- made me pick up my life without any weekend full stops and commas-- otherwise Sunday had become a big hangover debacle.. • It is not like--Hotel California-- you have to just get up and leave. There is nothing called --Cold Turkey-- and if you cannot-- help is now available both offline and online-- because alcoholism is a disease like another-- the first step to combat is to accept it. • Chalk out a routine during your Saturday and Sunday evenings-- an outing to your favorite restaurant, a movie, a hobby -- anything to keep you yourself busy and keep your mind away from the bottle. • And once you are in the path of abstinence -- slowly regain your healthy routine back--all it requires is 30 min of exercise-- walking, swimming, running-- a well balanced diet - a day will come when your eyes which were longing at the whiskey bottle for a drink -- will look at the people consuming the same at the bar -- and pity at their state- at what the wile of Bacchus have brought them to their knees--slowly decimating • Hobby-- develop a hobby-in this world of blue screen distractions, when our attention span has almost become nil it is very difficult to develop one, do something which you are passionate about, which will occupy your time--especially at the time you feel the urge to drink--and create friction between you and the bottle-- do not store spirit at your home-- to dress up and go to the bar-- will deter you instead of the easy availability. • The path to abstinence is like -- all or none-- you cannot gradually taper down with the promise to leave one day--you have to just get up and leave. There would be lot of compulsions to again surrender to the arms of Bacchus -- but stay away from situations which encourage drinking or gives easy access to your drinks-- develop a habit to keep yourself occupied during that time period when you are irrestibly drawn towards the bottle. Anything to keep your mind and desire occupied. • Hobby-- develop a hobby-in this world of blue screen distractions, when our attention span has almost become nil it is very difficult to develop one,do something which you are passionate about, which will occupy your time--especially at the time you feel the urge to drink--and create friction between you and the bottle-- do not store spirit at your home-- to dress up and go to the bar-- will deter you instead of the easy availability. • Meditation helps especially mindful meditation-- but is the toughest exercise.the mind is the most difficult part of the body to control, your thoughts, breath control etc-- but once you have mastered it-- you have won-- it's all in the psyche-- mental health is the clue to your physical health. 4.How did the Saturdays and Sundays feel after Bacchus abandoned me? • I always used to hate people who use to get up early on weekends--but now I realize the beauty of the early morning sun-- when you are mint fresh from a good night restful sleep -waking up clear headed without a trace of hangover. • an early morning walk in a park, a nutritious breakfast with a cup of filter coffee set the tone for a wonderful Sunday-you caught with your emails, investments, studies, a lunch or a movie out with the family-- and setting the tone for the next week and instead of hating your Mondays --you are looking forward to it. • Saturday evening-- was the time when the urge to binge was at its peak-- either engaged myself with a social commitment-- or reminded myself of the horrendous hangover the day after--immersed myself in the world of Netflix-- treated myself some good mocktails,tried a hand at cooking-- and as soon as the clock struck 0900 pm-- the urge to drink just waned away.and you presented yourself a wonderful Sunday--strong both physically and mentally. • Alcohol is the only drug which is accepted socially despite inflicting the maximum damage to your physical and mental health. • Alcoholism is a disease like any other and needs proper treatment Some lighter moments on effects of alcoholism: • Children would be glad to have their inheritance at their early age. • You will learn to speak a lot of foreign languages-- once you are sozzled. • The supplement industry of detox and hangover products will laugh all the way to the bank. • You can easily become the party jester • You will make friends out of enemies who will love to see you drink to your death.